In my 30 plus years on this earth I have experienced some really hard times, I have been through things that would have broken most people and don’t get me wrong many times I wanted to just end it all; a few times I almost did.
Just recently I was having an extremely hard day. I felt myself slipping into the dark place that I once lived in. I fought hard not to let myself go there; I played basketball, took a walk around the neighborhood, even read a few passages in my bible, but none of that worked. I sat on my porch and I just gave into the tears, the thoughts, and the darkness. I cried because I didn’t know what was going to happen to my family, I thought my children would be better without me, I didn’t see no end to all that I was going through at that time. That time in my life, that temporary time in my life.
As a child, I often felt like I wasn’t wanted or good enough. As I grew older I let it control my life, and as I grew even older I started to realize that I did not need this from others, I could have it every day from the person who wanted to give it the most, myself. People often call me conceited and I may be but the real reason behind my certainty is that I learned to love myself.
As you read earlier I am not perfect, I am far from it. I have my battles, daily! I have looked suicide in the eyes and I almost gave in to the promise of death, two times, it had me beat. The darkness that I was living in had me thinking that death was best. I overcame it and today I live hoping to be an inspiration to that person who is searching for light in a dark place or who just need something inspiring to get them through the day.
Lastly, as you read this post I hope you have found some strength, some inspiration, or some hope in knowing that you are not alone in your struggles. Having life and living are two different things and today it is my prayer that you chose to live. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, your are not alone, you are not alonel! Life is beautiful, we just have to take the time to experience all beauty it has to offer.
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