A Position of Surrender

Have you ever gotten to a point where you just can’t go on? You feel broken, confused, alone, and maybe even lost. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t take anymore, asking God why me? “Lord you said you would never put more on me then I could bear, I can’t take any more of this.” Have you ever just fallen to your knees and cried?

It is at this point, in this position, where you surrender all to God. It is at this point where the load is lightened. Most people view this position as a sign of weakness, but it is actually the strongest position you can be in. A position of surrender. Not surrendering to your circumstances, to the problems, to the addiction, to the loss but you are surrendering to God. In this position you lay everything at His feet.

God did say He would never put more on us than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13) but at some point, we have to surrender it all to Him. We have to go to Him on our knees, hands raised to the heavens, and head bowed believing that his grace is sufficient. The moment we stop going to God with our tests, trails, and tribulations is the moment we decide we can solve our problems on our own. It is no longer He, putting things on us, but we are putting things on ourselves.

There is this gospel song that I love titled Be Blessed (Paul S. Morton). In this song he sings about praying and how God change things when we pray for one another. The surrendering is not the acceptance of defeat but the acceptance of victory through God. In our own strength we are not capable of changing things around but when we surrender and pray God steps in and lighten our load.

I want you to know that it is okay to give it to God, whatever “it” is. I promise you that once you surrender to God, He will change things.

No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it. -1 Corinthians 10:13- (NET Bible)

I Am Different

I am different, not like 2 Chains different, but I have changed. I am a different person.

Almost a year ago I decided to really follow God, I mean really follow. I decided to let go of my wants, desires, hopes, and dreams and follow his will for my life. I had a lot of hopes and big dreams but I realized none of what I wanted was important if I wasn’t living in the will of God. At first, I was fearful, I didn’t know what to expect. Would I be tested like Job, would I fall short of God’s glory, would I never live the life I desired, or would the devil come after my children (my biggest fear).

I knew with this new journey that I was about to embark on I was going to be tested, I just didn’t know what that looked like. On this journey I have lost so much but my attitude, as hard as it was, was it’s going to be okay God is control. Overtime I started to see a change, I feel conflicted when I curse, some of the things I use to enjoy irritates me, I work hard to have meaningful relationships, and I seek God in all I do. My conversations with God are different and I listen more for his voice.


With this journey came many other changes, I constantly seek God’s presence. I am constantly reading my bible so that I can better understand. I share my experiences no matter how crazy they may seem. When I say I know God and I love God I feel it now and I mean it. I worry less, stress less, and argue less because I know God is in control. He goes before me and make crooked places straight and he prepares a table before my enemies.

The biggest change that I experienced and the one that I cherish the most is with my faith. I used to say God can do the impossible because it sounded good, now I know without a shadow of a doubt that He can do the impossible, that he still performs miracles. I have so much faith in God it has become contagious, my children are believing that God is going to answer all our prayers. My husband no longer says if, but when. My friends believe. This is so amazing to me. My daughter, 7 years old, talks about God more than I do.

I am different, and it is amazing. I love what God is doing in my life and I pray he continues to use me. The journey was hard in the beginning, but it made me conscious of my behaviors and I have a joy and a peace that surpasses all understanding, and for that I am so grateful. I am human I have my days, but in those days, I feel God’s gentle correction and that is so special to me.

If you have had an experience with God that you would like to share, I would love to read about it in the comments below.

What am I doing?


Have you ever asked yourself this? What am I doing? No really, what am I doing?
I have asked myself this time and time again and you know what; I never had an answer. Not until recently anyways.

A few months ago, I asked myself this question because I was lost, confused, stressed, and worried. Everything I tried, failed. When I tell you, this is a terrible combination of feelings, they made me feel absolutely miserable. So, I stopped, and I asked myself “what am I doing?” The answer that I came to me was nothing, I wasn’t doing anything that was going to get me to where I was trying to go. I figured it out; figuring it out was absolutely amazing and yet extremely funny. Here I am worrying myself to death about things that are completely out of my control.

So often we try to fix everything, when all we have to do is take our hands off of it and put it in God’s hands. I am the type of person who act before I pray and then I pray God take what I started and make it work. Trust, faith, hope, and prayer does not work like this. I also pray that God do it on my timeline, what am I doing? Telling God what to do, that’s what I am doing.

I challenge you today to take everything that has you lost, confused, stressed, and worried and put it in God’s hands, believe me he can handle it a lot better than we can.

Bible verses to reflect on:

  • So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. -Matthew 6:34-
  • Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6-
  • Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. -Psalm 62:5-

I Can’t…..

So, I have a very bad habit of telling God, I have a very bad habit of telling God what I can’t do. I promise you, at least once a week I am telling Him what I can’t do, and God has a habit of telling me what I can do and how to do it.

Just recently I came home from a busy day of work and my house looked just like it looked when I left. You would have thought that my husband didn’t have the whole day off. I walked in my room kicked off my shoes, took a few deep breaths and changed my clothes. Sat down and talked to my son for a few minutes and then took him to his interview and went to the grocery store. After doing all this, there was still nothing moved in the house. So here I go, meal prepping, cleaning up the kitchen, cooking dinner for the family, all the while my husband sits there.

When I am done with all this, I go back in my room and sit on my bed and tell God I can’t do this. I just can’t. I know my husband is going through something right now, Lord what do you want from me because this is just too much. Now this is where it gets funny, I once heard that if you want to make God laugh tell him what you gone do. Well, when I laid down to finally go to bed, something in my spirit said, “love is kind.” I know this is a bible verse, I’ve heard it before. I pick up my phone and google “love is kind” (I am still finding my way through the bible) and google tells me where to find the scripture and I open my bible app and I read it.

Clear as day, I am being told how I can do it and how I should do it.


Alright God, I hear you.

This is just one time, but I can look back and tell you about so many more

Me: God I can’t pay tithes, if I do, I’ll miss a bill, and something will get disconnected or it will reflect negatively on my credit report.
God: Try me (Malachi 3:10)

Me: God I can’t keep living like this, my finances are a mess, how will I ever be able to buy a home.
God: I will meet all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

Me: God I wrote the book, but I can’t afford to publish it, what if no one buys it and then all the money and time I put into it is gone to waste.
God: Write the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2-3)

These are real conversations that I have had with God in my time of discouragement and lack of faith. It is not easy trusting that everything will work out, it is not easy letting go of your circumstances and trusting that God has the power to work it out. Walking by faith is hard, being grateful for the things that you cannot see is even harder. God know we are human, and He knows that our feelings will sometimes win the battle, but I know that God has an answer for everything we are going through and everything we face.

So, when you feel like you can’t do something, know that with God you can do all things. Try Him for yourself.

Defining Moments

Defining moments are events that determine every event thereafter. The impact of these moments can either be positive or they can be negative, the impact is determined by your behavior during these moments. Some people believe they can experience things and it have no effect on them, but it does. They may not realize it at the time but something changes, either they start to think differently or the way they feel about a person change. Either way everything they do thereafter is defined by that moment.

We, as humans, will experience many defining moments in our lifetime. It is impossible to go through life and not have experiences change you. Not all defining moments are big moments, some are rather small, so small that you might not even realize it. Later on, you’ll do something, and you’ll wonder why. You’ll think back to that small defining moment and realize it changed you. The big moments are easier to recognize. Regardless of how big or how small when you go through a defining moment you do not come out the other side the same.

One large defining moment in my life was when I lost the first job I had after getting out the military. It rocked my whole world, it was totally unexpected. Losing my job came with no warning and no time to prepare. I remember when my boss at the time called me in her office and told me I was being terminated, I actually laughed because I thought she was playing. I knew she wasn’t playing when I walked out of her office and a police officer was standing there to escort me out the building. I packed my stuff and left, I left with no plan, and no source of income.

As I was walking to my car I cried. I sat in my car continued to cry. I pulled myself together before I went and got my daughter out of the on-campus daycare. When I got into the daycare the lady was telling me about the things my daughter needed to have for the next day and I informed her that she wouldn’t be back because I had just lost my job. She asked my why and I had no answer for her because I did not know myself. On my way home, I prayed, I cried, and I asked God for understanding, provision, and strength because I had a family to take care of. I had children and a husband who depended on me.

The day I was terminated I was sitting at my desk and the scripture “be still and know I am God” just kept playing over and over in my mind. I posted the scripture to my Facebook thinking it may help someone else who was having a defining moment not knowing it was for me and the defining moment I was about to face. When I got home I told my family the news but this time it wasn’t heavy. The next day when I woke up, I was okay, co-workers called to check on me, offer words of encouragement, and gave me advice on how to fight it. One by one I told them I was okay, and that God was in control. I truly believed that.

In my defining moment I could have gotten upset, acted a fool, felt sorry for myself, stress, and I could have given up on my dream; but instead of doing all this, I choose to trust God. I didn’t like the job or my boss anyways. I did fight the termination and I won my case. I took the time that I had off and I worked on my degree, became a stay at home mom, and crafted my cooking skills. I think my husband gained fifty pounds that year. The same position I was in opened at another location, I applied, and got the position. I have moved on now from that position, but I been with organization for three tears and I love what I do.

In my defining moment I did not give up, I did not wallow in the moment, I had faith for my future. I knew then, and I know now, even more, that God does not close one door without having better plans for another one. He moved me from an area where I thought I belonged and he opened doors in the place where I actually belonged. This moment shifted my whole life but most importantly it taught me how to really trust God and the process. The moment changed me, but I allowed it to change me for the better, it gave me a different outlook on life both personally and professionally. I know at times it is hard to overcome these defining moments, but my advice is to stay in faith and keep going. Sometimes defining moments seem like the end but they are the beginning of something new.

I have had many defining moments and each one comes with its different share of challenges. I challenge you to look back on your defining moments. How did they make you feel? How did they change you? How are they still effecting you? If you want to share leave a comment below and thank you for experiencing life with me.