The Decision-Ending It All

This blog is a part of a three-part series, it will give the reader an inside look at my journey to home ownership. I am sharing this to help those who battle with trusting God and having faith that He will work it out. Thank you for taking this journey with me and please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss this!

On Sunday, July 14, 2019, I decided it was time to end my marriage. We have been married almost nine years and the marriage was empty, just two people coexisting. I often hear people say you should stay and work it out but that takes two people; not one person praying it’ll get better and the other carrying on like nothing is happening around them. There are many reasons I could use to justify leaving my marriage but in the end it all came down to one thing…. I needed to choose me. I needed to choose the things I wanted for my life. I needed to choose my happiness and that’s exactly what I did. I chose me. Read More

Fear or Faith?

Standing in the doorway she looked out at what was in front of her and then she looked back at what was behind her. In front of her she saw new beginnings, healing, growth, beauty, new relationships, and happiness; most of all she saw the unknown. Behind her she saw the hurt, the failure, the broken relationships, the lack, and the abuse; most of all she saw familiarity. What should she do, she wondered as she stood glancing back and forward between the unknown and the familiarity. One step forward and she walks into her destiny. One step backwards and she walks into her death. Fear crippled her while faith tugged at her. Fear was telling her she couldn’t and her faith was telling her to trust God. She knew she had to let one go but which one would it be?

This is what it feels like when you let fear and faith live in the same realm, this is impossible. Fear and faith cannot exist together one must overcome the other or you always be stuck standing in the doorway wondering what if, not being able to move one way or another.  Faith is belief in the things unseen. You must believe that what lies ahead is better that what lies behind. Once you really start believing this, once you get this deep into your spirit, it is then you will be able to take that first step into the unknown. That first step of faith.

 

Faith is not easy but being fearful is. Having faith takes work, faith makes you work. You must work to get to those things that are in front of you. You have to get up in the morning and be present, you have to speak victory into your life, you have to read, you have to study, you have to apply yourself, you have to heal! Fear is easy, you don’t have to do anything but stay right where you are. Just sit there and dwell on all that you’ve been through and all the things that are never going to happen.

I can write about this because I have been here. In the doorway scared to step forward into faith because my fear of the unknown crippled me. Stepping forward was the best decision I ever made, it hasn’t been easy but it has been worth it.

What direction do you chose? Are you going forward in faith or are you going to step back into fear?

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. -Romans 8:18-

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9-

I’ve failed!

Today I sat at my desk wondering what do I do when I am trying my best yet I am still failing. I even typed this into the Google search box, what do I do when I am trying my best yet I am still failing. A few articles popped up telling me how to deal with failure but I didn’t see any that told me what to do when I am trying my best yet I am still failing.

I hit the “x” to close out the screen and I just sat there a few minutes trying to gather my thoughts before I moved on to my next assignment. As I sat there I got my answer. You just keep trying. That’s it, just keep trying.

Failure teaches you what didn’t work. When something doesn’t work (when you fail) do not give up, go back to the drawing board and try again. There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that states “you don’t fail until you stop trying.” So, if we keep trying then we haven’t failed we’ve only discovered what didn’t work.