I Can’t…..

So, I have a very bad habit of telling God, I have a very bad habit of telling God what I can’t do. I promise you, at least once a week I am telling Him what I can’t do, and God has a habit of telling me what I can do and how to do it.

Just recently I came home from a busy day of work and my house looked just like it looked when I left. You would have thought that my husband didn’t have the whole day off. I walked in my room kicked off my shoes, took a few deep breaths and changed my clothes. Sat down and talked to my son for a few minutes and then took him to his interview and went to the grocery store. After doing all this, there was still nothing moved in the house. So here I go, meal prepping, cleaning up the kitchen, cooking dinner for the family, all the while my husband sits there.

When I am done with all this, I go back in my room and sit on my bed and tell God I can’t do this. I just can’t. I know my husband is going through something right now, Lord what do you want from me because this is just too much. Now this is where it gets funny, I once heard that if you want to make God laugh tell him what you gone do. Well, when I laid down to finally go to bed, something in my spirit said, “love is kind.” I know this is a bible verse, I’ve heard it before. I pick up my phone and google “love is kind” (I am still finding my way through the bible) and google tells me where to find the scripture and I open my bible app and I read it.

Clear as day, I am being told how I can do it and how I should do it.

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Alright God, I hear you.

This is just one time, but I can look back and tell you about so many more

Me: God I can’t pay tithes, if I do, I’ll miss a bill, and something will get disconnected or it will reflect negatively on my credit report.
God: Try me (Malachi 3:10)

Me: God I can’t keep living like this, my finances are a mess, how will I ever be able to buy a home.
God: I will meet all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

Me: God I wrote the book, but I can’t afford to publish it, what if no one buys it and then all the money and time I put into it is gone to waste.
God: Write the vision and make it plain (Habakkuk 2:2-3)

These are real conversations that I have had with God in my time of discouragement and lack of faith. It is not easy trusting that everything will work out, it is not easy letting go of your circumstances and trusting that God has the power to work it out. Walking by faith is hard, being grateful for the things that you cannot see is even harder. God know we are human, and He knows that our feelings will sometimes win the battle, but I know that God has an answer for everything we are going through and everything we face.

So, when you feel like you can’t do something, know that with God you can do all things. Try Him for yourself.

Defining Moments

Defining moments are events that determine every event thereafter. The impact of these moments can either be positive or they can be negative, the impact is determined by your behavior during these moments. Some people believe they can experience things and it have no effect on them, but it does. They may not realize it at the time but something changes, either they start to think differently or the way they feel about a person change. Either way everything they do thereafter is defined by that moment.

We, as humans, will experience many defining moments in our lifetime. It is impossible to go through life and not have experiences change you. Not all defining moments are big moments, some are rather small, so small that you might not even realize it. Later on, you’ll do something, and you’ll wonder why. You’ll think back to that small defining moment and realize it changed you. The big moments are easier to recognize. Regardless of how big or how small when you go through a defining moment you do not come out the other side the same.

One large defining moment in my life was when I lost the first job I had after getting out the military. It rocked my whole world, it was totally unexpected. Losing my job came with no warning and no time to prepare. I remember when my boss at the time called me in her office and told me I was being terminated, I actually laughed because I thought she was playing. I knew she wasn’t playing when I walked out of her office and a police officer was standing there to escort me out the building. I packed my stuff and left, I left with no plan, and no source of income.

As I was walking to my car I cried. I sat in my car continued to cry. I pulled myself together before I went and got my daughter out of the on-campus daycare. When I got into the daycare the lady was telling me about the things my daughter needed to have for the next day and I informed her that she wouldn’t be back because I had just lost my job. She asked my why and I had no answer for her because I did not know myself. On my way home, I prayed, I cried, and I asked God for understanding, provision, and strength because I had a family to take care of. I had children and a husband who depended on me.

The day I was terminated I was sitting at my desk and the scripture “be still and know I am God” just kept playing over and over in my mind. I posted the scripture to my Facebook thinking it may help someone else who was having a defining moment not knowing it was for me and the defining moment I was about to face. When I got home I told my family the news but this time it wasn’t heavy. The next day when I woke up, I was okay, co-workers called to check on me, offer words of encouragement, and gave me advice on how to fight it. One by one I told them I was okay, and that God was in control. I truly believed that.

In my defining moment I could have gotten upset, acted a fool, felt sorry for myself, stress, and I could have given up on my dream; but instead of doing all this, I choose to trust God. I didn’t like the job or my boss anyways. I did fight the termination and I won my case. I took the time that I had off and I worked on my degree, became a stay at home mom, and crafted my cooking skills. I think my husband gained fifty pounds that year. The same position I was in opened at another location, I applied, and got the position. I have moved on now from that position, but I been with organization for three tears and I love what I do.

In my defining moment I did not give up, I did not wallow in the moment, I had faith for my future. I knew then, and I know now, even more, that God does not close one door without having better plans for another one. He moved me from an area where I thought I belonged and he opened doors in the place where I actually belonged. This moment shifted my whole life but most importantly it taught me how to really trust God and the process. The moment changed me, but I allowed it to change me for the better, it gave me a different outlook on life both personally and professionally. I know at times it is hard to overcome these defining moments, but my advice is to stay in faith and keep going. Sometimes defining moments seem like the end but they are the beginning of something new.

I have had many defining moments and each one comes with its different share of challenges. I challenge you to look back on your defining moments. How did they make you feel? How did they change you? How are they still effecting you? If you want to share leave a comment below and thank you for experiencing life with me.

Conflict Management

In life we will experience many conflicts. Conflict doesn’t have to always be with another person or thing, sometimes we wage conflict within ourselves. Learning to manage conflict properly is going to save you a lot of time and strife.

Not every argument has to occur, not ever fight has to happen, and not every wrong has to be addressed. We have all heard the saying “pick your battles wisely”, this means you can choose which battles are worth fighting.

Did you know conflict starts long before you even address the person? It starts in your mind, if you are like me you have the whole argument figured out before you ever get to the person. It may go a little something like this: I can’t believe she just said that, next time I see her I am going to let her know I didn’t like what she said and I dare her to say something back. Another example I bet when I get home the dishes are still going to be in the sink, the kids just don’t listen, they are going to get it when I get home.

What happens? You carry this conflict around with you all day and sometimes for days. The conflict is ongoing and until you can tell the person what you have played over and over again in your mind the conflict is still raging. At this point the other person doesn’t even know you all are fighting.

Story time:
One day I was leaving work, walking to my car, it was a Wednesday. On Sunday this person said something I didn’t like. It wasn’t directed toward me but I felt like they were throwing “shade” my way. I talked to my husband about it Sunday night, I talked to my best friend about it Monday, and by Tuesday I was heated. Wednesday I decided I was going to call this person as soon as I got to my car. Walking to my car I went through the whole argument, it went something like this: “Sunday you said something I really didn’t like and I feel like you were being shady, I have done nothing but support you but for you to say something like that it really hurt my feelings. Hold on let me finish (yes, I did), people think they know stuff about me but they really don’t. Everything I got, I worked hard for so for you to try and be shady knowing my struggle is really messed up.”

In this argument I knew the person wasn’t going to take responsibility for their action, I accounted for this already. After I finished sorting out how the conflict was going to in my head, I heard a voice say now is this worth your time? My answer was no, I do not have to defend my blessings. Not only that but I had let the conflict control enough of my time and energy and the sad part about it was the person never knew we were in conflict with each other.

Conflict is not just physical; it is also mental and it will disturb your peace. It will control your emotions and it will ruin relationships. Managing conflict is important. A few questions to ask yourself:

  • Is this worth my time?
  • Will what I say make a difference?
  • Is this worth my peace?
  • Is this my battle to fight?
  • Will I be okay if the relationship ends?

If you answered no to any of these questions, let it go. Not every battle is worth fighting and not every battle is yours to fight.

You know I don’t write anything without relating it back to the bible. I will leave you with two bible verses today.

  • Proverbs 15:1: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
  • Ephesians 4:26: Be angry, and yet do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Both verses are telling us to be careful of what we let flow out of our mouths, hearts, and minds and both are telling us to not stir up anger but let it go. Doing this is for you, it won’t feel good at first but in the end, you didn’t lose anything. You are not weak when you let conflict go you are strong because you were able to overcome and you will be rewarded in the end.

How do you wake up?

How do you wake up?

Are you happy that it is a new day or are you mad because it is a new day?
How you wake up will determine how your day goes. It also has the protentional to determine how your week goes or how your month goes. If you are not careful, how you wake up one day may have the power to determine how the rest of your life goes.

Waking up is a gift, tomorrow is not promised, each day we wake up it is God’s will for us to do so (James 4:13-15). Waking up is a gift, a precious gift that should be cherished. Waking up with the right attitude and the right mindset has the power to change your whole life.

Each morning your feet hit the floor you should be thanking God for a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity to do and accomplish the things you did not get to do yesterday. Happiness is a choice; you can choose to be happy every morning. Your attitude towards life is a choice, you can either choose to look at things as a positive or you can look at them a negative.

Changing the way you wake up can be hard; I don’t like my job, I don’t want to deal with these people today, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, my back hurt, I just need two more hours of sleep, traffic is terrible, and the list goes on and on and on. If you begin to look at these things from a different perspective waking up will become easier. I don’t like my job, but I am good at it so let me get going, God please help me be a better person in the work place so that I can better deal with those around me, traffic is bad but it gives me a few minutes to myself.

You have the choice to be bitter about life or be better in life.

In the morning when you wake up chose to be a better person than you were yesterday, choose happiness, choose to react differently when obstacles get in your way, choose to smile more, choose to enjoy the day on purpose and I promise you not only will your days, weeks, and months get better, but you will sleep better. Not only that but life will get better, your health will get better, and blessings will flow.

God did not put us here to live a miserable life, He put us here to carry out his will and to be a reflection of Him; we cannot do this if we are always grumpy, hating life, and ungrateful. I want to leave you with a scripture: Psalm 118:24 “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

We will rejoice and be glad in it!

We will rejoice and be glad in it!

We will rejoice and be glad in it!

Breaking Point

As I was going through my day, going over in my head all I had to do, this message came to me. This is unrehearsed, raw footage but I hope the message is received.